Begin again

It's been a warm and peaceful start to 2012 so far. I spent a cosy New Years Eve with my youngest sister while our other halves rocked a local venue with their respective bands.


On New Years Day we took a blustery family walk on the seafront where strangers asked permission to photograph the girls in their bright-pink suits.

Later, we warmed our toes by a blazing wood fire, that crackled in the most pleasing way and entranced the little girls. They sat and gazed at the leaping flames and snuggled in close to Dada, while they nibbled on the last of the Christmas gingerbread.

...........................

I wrote the above on January 2nd when things were, indeed, exactly as I described...

...and then, the next day, I went back to work... and life's wild roller coaster dragged it's briefly neglected carcass up to the crest of that first, huge drop where, for the first day or two, precariously suspended, I had the most wonderful view. I glimpsed an entire year before me full of wonderful opportunities and ambitions. A million goals to grab, a million resolutions to be made, a million fleeting moments to capture and wrap up in my heart and remember, remember, remember.

I sat there on the brink, knowing inside that it was merely a momentary calm, before that first drop, the big one, where all of a sudden you're falling and gasping for a breath and reaching out to grab something and willing it all to slow down again. Slow down. Slow down so that I can see clearly again, all of it, that is my life.

I've forgotten already, most of the resolutions I had made while I balanced on top of that hill, with my empty diary spread before me, quietly awaiting those first tentative appointments. The festivals and birthdays and weddings. The doctor and dentist appointments. The meetings and project deadlines. The yoga classes and date-nights... and now, already, even the margins are filling with scribbled shopping lists and gift ideas and appointments awaiting confirmation and ideas for things I might like to try and a multitude of other chaotic scrawlings as life again picks up it's pace and leaves me scrambling in its wake.

I am trying to take a moment to breathe. To evaluate. To take something from this article, posted on someone else's Facebook page, that made me realise something and inspired me to make a relatively big change (more soon).

I am trying to remember to take an hour out of a day to do something new.
Like... faerie hunting in the winter forest...


...or rediscover my love of Theatre, a love that has been pushed to the bottom of the 'to-do list' for far too many years...
And so, the only resolutions that really matter... the ones that have managed to shine through the general fog of my days almost two weeks after New Years Eve, are as follows...

1. To make my life lighter and less fraught. To fill it less with things I don't really want to do but feel obligated to do and more with things that will make me smile and allow me to breathe.

2. To absorb every ounce of everything that this brings:

... wrap it up in my heart and remember, remember, remember...

......... of course, there's always the weight-loss resolution too... but who wants to remember that!

3 comments

  1. Happy New Year beautiful woman. May all your dreams come true for 2012. Good things happen to good people and you have a a beautfil family To give you all the love and support and strength to make all those dreams come true. It's not easy but take one small step at a time and remember you are much loved by many people! C.X

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you my darling xx and a Happy New Year to you... when I think about how hectic your life is I feel silly to even be writing about how un-busy mine is by comparison! Here's to finding time to breathe in 2012!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes, those two resolutions are the important ones, thanks for the reminder! I also love the idea of taking an hour out of every day to do something new. It actually sounds doable when you put it like that.

    p.s. I spent a couple of weeks in Ireland many years ago but didn't run across any thrift stores during our trip. Would love to make it back one day to your beautiful country. Thrifting would definitely be made higher priority if I did!

    ReplyDelete

A penny for your thoughts?